Well, a little since my last blog (I haven’t quite got in to the habit of blogging regularly yet) and nothing *really* has moved on with my research or indeed my reading… oh dear.
I had a blip. I got an email saying that my application for the Uni Scholarship was unsuccessful. This didn’t surprise me really, although I got 87% at MA level, which I think is pretty good, compared to other applicants who have publications and conferences under their belts, I don’t have much to my name. So my hard slog continues – I am a mum, I work at least 3 days a week to pay the mortgage/bills etc (in a stressful job), I am an undergrad seminar tutor (which takes much more prep than ever imagined!) and in-amongst it all, a part-time PhD student. However, there are positives in all of this. I was awarded part-funding last year – my fees are paid by the University of Warwick, with the condition that I teach the under-grad seminar. This is great, I really couldn’t be studying without this grant and therefore I should be thankful for this – not everybody has this opportunity and I did well to be successful in this funding application. A PhD is what I *really* want to pursue; I love academia and after my MA was determined to continue my study at some point. This is what I am doing, and should be at least a little bit pleased with myself for doing this.
I had ‘the chat’ with my partner about giving up the studying and just working – money is tight and I am worried about not having the time to put into the PhD. If I’m going to do this, I want to do it well, not just ‘scrape by’ and end up with a PhD I know I could have done better. The conclusion to this conversation was that I would not have the funding opportunity again, and that I should stick with it – it’s where my heart lies and I would be so unhappy to give it up.
I then found THE MOST AMAZING BLOG.
This blog is amazing for many reasons, but the two I will identify now are 1. a blog about being tattooed, and a woman… which doesn’t have to include sexually suggestive images of the lady or the ink gets my vote any day and 2. the author of the blog has already put into words many, many of the ‘issues’ I too have identified about being an inked woman and will be looking at from an academic level. AND it’s written incredibly well – intelligent, interesting and charming. It certainly inspired me to keep on with my ideas, have a little more faith in myself and my study.
I found it just in time 🙂